


Stop Me Going Home - REVAMPED

by PanickingTara



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Sexism, Sexual Assault, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanickingTara/pseuds/PanickingTara
Summary: Frank has a hard home life that Gerard doesn't know much about. He lives with his abusive mother, and everyday, things always seem to get worse. Frank is in love with Gerard, but it is so, so hard to talk to him when Gerard knows nothing about his life when the front door of his house closes. Maybe, Frank could be okay on his own, but eventually, enough will be enough, and he needs to live.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for the entire story will be here in case you didn't read the tags. They're here because I'm not warning you again at the beginning of every chapter, because that's boring. The only way you're going to see a trigger warning at the beginning of a chapter is if I decide to add something else in that isn't mentioned in this list. They are as follows: child abuse, graphic abuse, mental illness, self harm, eating disorders, sexism, homophobia, suicidal ideation & suicide attempt. That being said, you're now aware of the contents, so I don't need to warn you again. I like the element of surprise.

Secrets.

Frank had always hated his home life. His mom never understood his problems, and if anything, she just disregarded him as a whole. It was like this for as long as Frank can remember. His relationship with his mother was never anything special. She always thought that since he was a boy, he can take care of himself, and he doesn't really need her to hold his hand through it all. That, of course, was fine; Frank never developed a huge emotional attachment to her anyway. She was his mom, he was her son, and that's all it needed to be.

When he was only twelve, Frank was diagnosed with the first of his few mental illnesses to come, that one being depression. That was a lot for a twelve year old to take in, and he didn't really understand what it even meant. He was just in his first year of middle school at the time of his diagnosis, and he didn't know how to cope. His depression was bad, and his mental health had been declining in the following months.

The years following that diagnosis weren't the brightest. It wasn't until eighth grade that it got too much to bear. The month after school started, the day before his birthday, Frank decided he'd had enough. He needed to feel something, anything. All he wanted was something to fill the void his fourteen year old heard had. The night before his fifteenth birthday, he decided to do something he'd never done before. He went into his garage where his father's old tool kit had been, and he opened it for the hundredth time, already knowing it's contents he's stared at so much without ever touching. This time was different, though, Frank was planning this the entire day while he was at school. He decided when his mother goes to sleep, he'll down some of her liquor and head out here, which he did. Inside the toolbox, there were just a few scrap tools that his father left behind for Frank and his mother, in case they ever need to fix something. The box remained mostly untouched, until Frank discovered it again about a year prior. That's how he knew there were razors kept in it.

He was drunk and hurt, and he had seen on the internet that people often do things that'll scar just for the high of it. He needed to feel again, and like every other person that became just another statistic, he believed that this would stop his pain. Alcohol was never a normal fluid to be in his system, as he had see what it had done to his mother. On the rare occurrence he did have it, he never liked it too much, it always felt sour after. He drank a lot that night though, and that might have been the reason that he went farther than he originally intended to. He wanted maybe ten cuts at most, but ten turned into thirteen, and thirteen turned into the fourteenth being the one.

Lucky number fourteen was high up on his forearm, and it was too deep. He knew it was bad when it started spurting blood, unlike the other thirteen that were slowly oozing down his pale arm.

The rest of that night was mostly a blur. Frank doesn't know how he ended up at the hospital, but he ended up staying there for two and a half weeks as doctors allowed his wounds to heal. He then went home, his mother acted as though nothing happened, and he carried on about his life, never mentioning the incident.

High school eventually started, and since that last October, Frank hadn't touched a blade since, but he knew his mom never took them away or even bothered to hide them, his mess from that night is still in the garage to be taken care of at a later date.

Frank didn't have any close friends after his accidental hospital stay, so freshmen year was pretty lonely. Frank was still depressed, and that ended up warping into a never ending boredom rather than something else drastic. His sad was still there, but he never ended up getting his sparkle back, those hope and life values most seem to have.

Music was always something that Frank related to, it was always something that could keep him _here_ , kept him feeling. Frank saved up enough money to buy himself a guitar during the summer before freshmen year, and he's been addicted to it ever since. Concerts, too, were always something that he enjoyed, and he skipped school late November that year to go to a Green Day concert. It was something he never felt before. He's been to plenty of concerts before, he'd even seen Green Day once before, but it wasn't the usual.

That day, Frank met someone. During _Jesus Of Suburbia_ , the second to last song played, a boy who looked his age spilled his drink on him after moshing, which he later found out was beer. The boy ended up going back into the mosh pit after apologizing and offering Frank the rest of his beer, which he declined. After Green Day's final song played and the crowd began to depart, the boy actually came and found Frank again. He apologized to him again for spilling his beer on him, and then offered to buy Frank a new shirt at the merch tables. Frank tried to convince him that he was fine, and he really didn't need to, but his efforts failed, and he ended up getting a new shirt that he still owns to this day.

Even though the concert had ended and Frank was now in a clean shirt, the boy still hung around. Frank didn't know why the boy had stayed around, but he found out that both of them took the bus to the show, so they ended up walking to the stop together. That's when the boy decided to formally introduce himself as Gerard Way. They sat by each other on the ride home, and they actually found out they live about twenty minutes away from each other, they've just never met because they go to different high schools.

Since then, they grew closer, and Frank was able to convince his mother to let him transfer to Gerard's high school during his sophomore year, as they are both in the same grade.

Frank had developed a crush on Gerard right after meeting him, and they hit it off from the start. They both liked D&D, they both loved comic books, and they shared a passion for music. Every single day, they would hang out with each other and have a beer or two - a habit that Frank accidentally developed after hanging out with Gerard so much - and they'd talk about what kind of songs they're going to come out with when they become famous. Gerard has a guitar, but he's not the best at playing it, so he usually just sings.

Things began turning around for Frank since he met Gerard. He became his closest friend very quickly, and Frank's days seemed a little less dull. Junior year was the best year of high school that Frank's had. Gerard Way made his life tolerable. Frank found a medication that worked for himself, and he's slowly been learning to talk more, which is a huge accomplishment, and he doesn't know if he could have done that without Gerard's help.

Recently, however, Frank has been distancing himself from Gerard. Gerard is his best friend, but Frank sometimes that even the closest friends don't need to know everything going on at home, especially at his home, because it's different. Frank used to tell Gerard pretty much everything that happened at home, and it's not that he doesn't, because he does, but it's already so hard to handle on his own, so at this point, why even bother telling him?

His mother has been verbally abusing him for years, and Gerard knew that much. Frank would sometimes stay up all night texting Gerard while crying, begging him to pick him up and take him to Gerard's home, which was always a safe haven to him. Gerard has been able to pick him up in the past, but after his mother caught on to Frank leaving just to get away from her, she shut that down, and she would turn him away at the door and not allow Frank to go and be with the one person he trusted with his whole being.

Things have changed since his third year of high school; the verbal abuse became physical; mother has been hitting him. He hasn't told Gerard partly because he's so afraid that his mother will find out and hurt him even worse, and partly because he's embarrassed it even happens. She's been doing good at making his depression return full force, and he doesn't know what to do now, other than keeping what's happening to himself for fear of his own safety.

That's what he's been doing all summer. Distancing himself from his best friend because he's afraid of what could happen if his secret got out. Summer is almost over though, and just half an hour ago, his mother hit him. He doesn't do anything about it, he just takes it.

Frank sits on the floor looking at his comic books, and his phone lights up beside him, showing a new message notification from his bestie.

_(5:32pm)-hey, just checking in on u frankie. u havent called me in a while. r u ok?_

Frank contemplates just ignoring Gerard, because honestly, he's really emotional right now, even though he has calmed down from crying just a little bit ago, he still feels like his tears could come back at any second if someone wants to show him just a little love. After some thought though, he decides that because Gerard means so much to him, the least he could do is reply to a simple text message rather than ignoring him as he has been.

_(5:33pm)+im ok. just been rlly busy._

Another message pops up a minute later.

_(5:34pm)-can i call u?_

_(5:34pm)+im busy gee_

_(5:40pm)-come on man. just let me hear ur voice for a minute so i know ur alive and its not ur dumbass mom pretending 2 b u. u can hang up after if u wnt_

_(5:42pm)+fine_

His phone lights up with the caller screen just seconds after Frank sends his message, and instantly, Frank regrets agreeing to letting Gerard call. He lets it ring a few times, but he gives in to his friend, and answers the call, as he did agree he would. He takes a deep breath and holds his shitty iPhone 4 to his ear.

"Hey," Frank quietly says.

"Hey, darling. I missed your voice, what's up?" Gerard asks, sounding way too cheerful to Frank, given his current situation, but Gerard doesn't know what literally _just_ happened, so he can't really blame him.

"Nothing really. I've been writing music, but other than that, nothing much has been going on," Frank says. It's not a lie; he did write new music...yesterday.

"Put me on speaker and play me some," Gerard says hopefully, not letting go of his happy voice. Frank's face flushes into a deep red color, and he's embarrassed, and he's really thankful that Gerard can't see him right now.

"Uh, I don't know about that. You can hear it in person later," Frank suggests. He can hear Gerard sigh through the phone.

"Are you really alright, baby?" Gerard asks after a long pause. Frank's face falls; Gerard lost the happy voice he wore moments ago. Frank's upset at himself now for ruining the mood, but he continues talking to Gerard anyway.

"I don't know. It sucks here, my mother won't let me leave because it's summer, and I guess I'm supposed to clean up her shit all day and not do anything for myself," Frank says, trying to open up without actually opening up. It's a daily struggle to not just tell him everything.

"Hey, just two more weeks, and we'll be at school again, ready to begin our senior year. I got these cool new kicks, Frankie, all the boys are gonna be falling for me," Gerard says. Frank feels jealousy over that comment, but he doesn't mention anything.

"Can't wait to see them. And you. Miss you, Gee, but I'm really busy, and I've gotta go," Frank says.

"Alright, darling. Stay safe. See you later. Bye," Gerard says, and he hangs up before Frank says goodbye because that's what he always does. Frank drops his phone to the ground and curls his knees to his chest. He rests his brow on the top of his knees, and his eyes start watering. As much as he loves Gerard, sometimes he can't stand how nice he is to him. Gerard bullies a lot of people who even look at him wrong, and he bullies his other friends and his brother, Mikey, just to be an asshole. He has a soft spot for Frank, though, and is rarely ever mean to him. With all the pain his mother has been putting him through, having someone just show a small kindness to him hurts worse than his mom does sometimes.

He wants to cry, but he's interrupted by his mother walking into his room, so he chills himself and looks up at her.

"Frank, get your lazy ass off the ground and clean up the damn kitchen before I beat your ass again!" His mom yells. Frank wipes his eyes, stands up, and walks out of his room as his mother stands in the doorway. She pushes him, urging him to move faster, and yells at him again.

"Hurry up!"

Frank starts moving faster into the kitchen.

"Yes, ma'am." 


	2. Chapter 2

Twelve more days until school begins, marking the start of his last year of the "best four years" of his life. That's all Frank has to wait for now, and when it starts, he'll be able to chill there all day and then some. Things will be different, his happiness will return, and he'll feel safer. Home will feel so small, hopefully as small as he feels right now, laying down in the bathtub and letting the cold water hit his stomach and chest, trying to numb the bruises his mother put on him. 

His eyes are shut, and his mind plays him a tune that isn't anything in particular. The music in his head silently hums along to the sound of the shower. Despite the reason he lies there, he feels calm. The house is always dead silent after anything bad happens, like the calm after a storm. This storm was only thunder, although some feel like lightning and tornadoes. He hopes it's never as bad as hurricane. The water continues to fall onto his skin as he thinks. He rubs his eyes before opening them, and touches his shoulder so he can pull it to where he can see it easier. The bruising there is much better than he thought it'd be, so that's a relief. He was expecting something more purple and dark, but it’s just mild. He looks at his left wrist. The bruising there isn't too bad either, only a yellowish color. It probably wouldn't even be noticeable if he were to throw on a few bracelets.

The shower is cold, but he hasn't shivered yet. He was sweating before he got in here anyway, so it was a good feeling, but now, it's no use, he thinks. Water won't make the pain go away or help him heal, all it seems to do is soak into his skin like sun does to roses, only roses don't crinkle up like raisins on their fingertips as they do to him right now. They only thing that could make things better is removing Frank from this "home" entirely. That, or Gerard suddenly becoming his hitman in shining armor, which is unlikely, although the chances of it happening are never zero. With Gerard, there's really no telling on whether or not something that drastic could happen. Frank doesn’t _really_ want his mother to die, but he does wish for the pain she inflicts upon him to stop. Killing her wouldn’t solve anything.

Taking in a deep breath, Frank sits up in the bathtub, the water feeling worthless to him now. All he thinks that could come out of this is hypothermia and maybe premature death if he’s lucky enough, and that doesn't seem so bad right now. He turns off the water and gets out of the tub. He grabs his towel that he brought in earlier, and wraps it around his thin waist. He's about to look in the mirrors and check out his bruises to see if they look any different there, but a knock at the door interrupts him, and that causes him roll his head back and silently groan at the ceiling while also rolling his eyes as if his head falling back wasn’t enough.

"What?" He asks, already irritated at the voice he hasn't even heard yet. Knowing the only person it could be is his mother, it gives him only more reason to be annoyed. Him taking showers or baths, or doing literally anything in the bathroom is _him_ time only, it's the only unspoken boundary his mother has with him, and it's very rare she'll ever try to talk to him while he's in there. This time, he doesn't seem to be that lucky. He starts putting some of his bracelets on his left wrist while he waits for her answer.

"That boy with the red hair is here. You can go with him, but be back before seven!" His mother calls through the door. In an instant, Frank doesn't feel as hopeless he felt five minutes ago, and he starts hurrying to get dressed. Gerard doesn't often show up unannounced, but Frank almost always appreciates it when he does. It saves him the trouble of having to ask his mom to see him because usually, she would say no. When Gerard randomly shows up, odds are in his favor that he'll be allowed to leave.

"I will be. I promise!" Frank calls back to her with a growing smile on his face, trying to hide the excitement in his voice as he gets his oversized dark grey t-shirt on. He hurries to get the rest of his clothes on, and doesn't bother completely drying off his hair as he leaves the bathroom and runs to his bedroom to grab his pair of all black converse. He sits on his bed and quickly puts them on.

He rushes to the front door, not saying goodbye to his mother, who could tell him to cancel his plans at any time while he's still in the house. The front door closes behind him, and he runs to the driveway to where Gerard is leaning against his beat up 1978 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am with a cigarette between his lips. He looks so perfect without even trying, he's just naturally beautiful. Frank stops a few feet in front of him, and Gerard smiles and blows out smoke as he drops his cigarette on the ground and steps on it with the toe of his docs. 

"Hey, long time, no see," Gerard says softly, turning his attention back to Frank and holding his arms out to him. Frank lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he steps into the hug his best friend offered, and he holds on tightly. Gerard wraps his arms around his waist and his head nuzzles against Frank's.

"I really missed you," Frank whispers. He feels his voice might begin to crack if he talks again, but he can't break down while he's still at home and his mom still has the ability to make him come back inside, or even worse, show Gerard the pain she's been causing him. 

"Missed you too. Let's get out of here, yeah?" Gerard says while gently scratching Frank's head, which is still very wet from his shower, but he doesn't seem to care. Frank nods his head and steps out of Gerard's embrace, and he walks over to the passenger side and sits down, waiting for Gerard to drive them to wherever he feels. Frank doesn't usually ask where they're going, he doesn't mind not knowing. 

Ten minutes into the drive and they're stopped on an abandoned highway. They went to sit on the overpass with their legs dangling off the edge while sharing a beer. It's calming out here like this, like they're the only ones on the planet, and things are as they should be. There's no suffering out here, just two boys drinking while sitting on the overpass. Normal things.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" Gerard asks, sipping a little, then he hands Frank the bottle. Frank takes it and tips his head back and drinks a few gulps, unaware of the gaze his friend holds, watching him pour more alcohol into his system. 

"That bad?" Gerard asks with a concerned look on his face as Frank lowers the bottle. He shakes his head, dismissing Gerard. 

"No, I told you a few days ago. I've just been busy," Frank says softly, bringing the beer back to his lips and trying to drink more. He's about to try and finish it off, but he feels Gerard's hand cover his, so he lowers his hand back down and lets Gerard take the bottle back, to which he sets aside.

"Talk to me Frank, that's why I'm here. Seems like I only ever get to talk to you in person, that's why I drove over here. I wanted to see you cause we don't talk like we did months ago," Gerard coaxes. Frank shakes his head ever so slightly that if Gerard hadn't have been paying close attention, he probably wouldn't have even seen it. Next to him, Frank watches Gerard move the bottle further away from them, and he reaches for his right hand. Gerard holds it with his left, and his right hands fingertips softly run up and down his forearm over pale white scars from when Frank self harmed that night before his birthday in eighth grade, before he met Gerard. Frank looks up to the sky and closes his eyes as he feel his tears coming.

"Are you alright?" Gerard asks in a whisper, still gently rubbing his forearm, but keeping his attention on his face. Frank makes the decision to lie, and he nods his head, though he regrets it, because he knows Gerard can see right through it.

"I'm okay," He says, looking back down and wiping his eyes with his left hand. He looks to his friend, who still is watching him with that concerned look he held minutes ago.

"I'll be here when you're ready to talk, you know that, right?" Gerard asks. Frank nods, so Gerard lifts the beer bottle back up and hands it to Frank, who quickly downs the rest, and then they both get up and go back to Gerard's car and sit inside.

"I've been working on some music for our future band. Ray was starting to write a few riffs for it, and he was thinking that when school starts back up, once a week or so we can go up to his house in Montgomery and practice in his garage," Gerard says. Frank can't help but laugh. Montgomery is the place where all the snobby rich people in Jersey live.

"I can't believe he chose to finish his last year of high school at Montgomery Academy when his parent's offered to let him transfer. He's like the most emo kid there and he can't even dress how he wants," Frank says. Gerard nudges him and rolls his eyes.

"His choice, baby. He's got good grades anyway. You and I, we would lower his GPA just by being in the same room as him," Gerard says. Frank smiles at him, "You'd probably beat his ass the first day he'd get here, too. He wouldn't know how to act around misfits like us anyway." Gerard smiles and nods. "Damn right, I would."

As they talk, time passes, and soon the sun begins to set, indicating that Frank needs to return home soon. Gerard offers to drive them into the city to go get some fast food before bringing Frank back, and Frank agrees even though it's only about half an hour before seven and the drive could take longer if there's traffic. This doesn't seem to matter to Frank, though, so the drive begins.

"Have you been sleeping alright?" Gerard asks after Frank yawns for the second time before they're even halfway there.

"Yeah," Frank says through another yawn. Gerard looks over at him with a pitiful look on his face.

"You can rest. I'll wake you up when we get there," He offers. Frank agrees, so he shuts his eyes for a moment. When he wakes up again, it's dark outside, and Gerard is driving a few streets from his house, the radio on his favorite channel quietly singing to them. A bag of Taco Bell is handed to Frank when Gerard pulls into his driveway. 

Gerard doesn't need to tell Frank that he drove around for an extra hour wasting gas just so Frank could get an ounce of rest. He doesn't need to be told that, the clock says it's eight fifteen, so he knows. He's thankful for it, too, and he hopes his mom is asleep, because she isn't something he wants to deal with right now.

"You sleep well, okay? I'll see you soon," Gerard says, and Frank watches as he lightly touches his fingers to his lips and then reaches over the center console and touches Frank's cheek. His thumb gently pads over Frank's skin for a moment before pulling away.

"See you," Frank says, and he gets out of the car and goes inside his house. The door was still unlocked for him and lights are still on. His mother is awake in the living room, and she watches as Frank sleepily walks inside the house and locks the door behind himself.

"Did you have a good time?" His mom asks, pausing the tv from the hallmark movie channel she watches so often. Frank hums.

"Yeah," He replies. She doesn't say anything else, so Frank makes his way to his bedroom along with the Taco Bell bag, to which he sets down on his nightstand. He'll eat it later. Now, he's just really tired and needs to go to sleep. His mother doesn't bother him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not relevant to this chapter specifically, but please take note of the tags, I just updated them.

It's the night before the first day of senior year, and everyone is stressed, including Frank's mom, who is currently sitting on the couch with a beer. She's busy bitching about the contestants on Jeopardy, which is the main reason for her high stress level, not the fact that Frank starts school in just a few hours.

Frank is in the bathroom trying on the clothes his mother bought him earlier today at the Goodwill. Most of the jeans are too big, and all of the shirts are ugly, but they fit, so it's a win. He's pretty sure his mom just asked someone where the mens clothes were and she grabbed the first ten things she saw, which would explain why none of this is his style. He would have preferred all black clothes, maybe some reds thrown in there, but old tees that people donate with the intent of the less fortunate to buy is what he's stuck with.

He looks at himself in the mirror and pulls up his jeans. His favorite pair are the ripped black ones, but they're so big on him. He told his mother the size he needed, and she did get the sizes he requested, but they're big, and he knows why. This summer, he lost a lot of weight. Being depressed and scared to leave his room, the only times he really ate was when he was with Gerard, and those days were few and far between. The loss wasn't intentional, and he didn't even realize that his sizes went down, as he normally wore skinny jeans anyway, he figured it just took a while for them to be comfortable.

With a sigh, he decides that looking at himself isn't going to change anything, so he gathers up his new clothes and starts to walk back to his bedroom. His mom looks at him from the sofa, seemingly expecting him to say something, so he does.

"Thank you, Mom. They all fit fine," He lies quietly. She nods at him with a look of success etched on her face, and he finishes the short walk to his room. Glancing at the clock hanging above his bed, he sees that it's close to midnight. He should have been in bed hours ago because has to wake up early, but he ended up staying up later than what he had originally intended. Feeling defeated, he puts his clothes away after choosing his outfit for tomorrow, and he turns out his light and lays in his bed. He checks his phone and notices there's a couple missed texts from Gerard at around nine.

_(8:58pm)-frank, u there?_

_(9:09pm)-frank_

_(9:22pm)-frannnnnnkieeee_

_(9:29pm)-answer ur phone asshole_

_(9:42pm)-fine. ignore me_

_(9:55pm)-im sorry that sounded mean i didnt mean it like that_

Each of his messages were sent about ten minutes apart, and Frank feels bad now.

_(11:46pm)+hey im here_

He waits a few minutes, but there isn't a reply. He shuts his phone off and plugs it in, a sadness taking over. He pulls his blanket up over his shoulders and curls up, ready to enter a dreamless sleep or a restless night. Regardless of what he gets, He's tired, and he just wants to be comfortable for just a few hours before he's sent back to school.

He dozes off.

A door slamming the wall is his bedroom and a voice screaming at him wakes up Frank. Judging by the sound of it, there's probably a hole in the wall that Frank's going to have to fix later, most likely by covering it up with a band poster rather than actually fixing it.

"What the hell are you still doing in bed huh?! Damn it Frank, you missed the fucking bus!" His mother yells at him. He's barely awake when he feels her reach out and grab his hair and pull it, and his eyes can't even adjust to the light before he feels a blow to his face. He reaches up to touch his lip after she releases her grip on him. He looks at his hand and there's a little bit of blood, but not a whole lot.

"What time is it?" Frank asks, tasting blood in his mouth. His mother glares at him and points at the clock. He's late. He's really late.

"Shit!" Frank mutters, noticing that his mom is right, he's a whole two hours late to class. There's no way he's going to get there before his third hour, especially because he's going to have to walk now, because the state took his moms license away. Times like this, he wishes his mom didn't drink so much. If she hadn’t gotten ticketed again, she’d still have a license. She never pays her tickets, to ultimately, the state decided to suspend her license.

"Get your ass up and go!" His mom yells at him, turning on her heel and leaving his room and slamming his door shut on the way out, causing the walls to rattle following her absence. He looks at the wall that the door slammed into. It did leave a hole. His forehead wrinkles and he groans and falls back on his bed and checks his phone. Four missed messages from Gerard, and one from his little brother Mikey, or Micheal, who's a freshman this year.

_(3:49am)-sorry i fell asleep. I'll tell u wat i was gonna say earlier @ sckool_

_(7:52am)-where the fuck r u??_

_(8:03am)-frankie ur gonna miss attendance get ur ass over here_

_(8:59am)-dude u missed first period r u ok?_

_(9:14am)~Frank, Gerard is asking where you are. Please answer him so he gets off my ass. He’s acting like you died._

Frank knows he's not able to reply to his friends right now, so he leaves them on read and starts getting ready for school. He puts on a pair of dark blue jeans that actually fit because he doesn't have any time to try looking for a belt, even though he wanted to wear a different outfit. He doesn’t have the time to try and dress nicely, so he does what he can do quickly.

When his clothes are on, he goes to the bathroom to get his deodorant and brush his teeth. One look at himself in the mirror though, makes him sick to his stomach, and he's tempted to try and convince his mother to call in sick, but he knows if he frustrates her any more today, he's going to get much more than a split and bruised lip. He continues to try and clean himself up, but no matter what he tries, he's not going to be able to cover his face well enough.

Dreading leaving, he reluctantly goes back to his bedroom and puts on his black converse and a black hoodie, and he pulls his hood up. He puts on his backpack and grabs his phone and opens his window and jumps out it. His mom will know eventually that he left if she cares enough to go to his room and notice that he isn't there.

He starts walking to his shitty high school and he then decides to text Gerard back when he's a good block away from his house.

_(9:51am)+srry im on my way now. overslept._

_(9:54am)-shit man, u gotta get here. theres an assembly at 10:30_

_(9:55am)+ill be there asap_

Frank is relieved that Gerard doesn't seem upset with him for being late, and he starts walking faster so he doesn't have to walk in during the assembly and embarrass himself.

He gets to his school about ten minutes before the assembly and he checks himself into the main office. They don't make him take off his hood, and he's thankful for that. The last thing he needs right now is to attract attention to himself, so he goes to the bathroom in the fine arts wing of the school to hide in there and wait to be dismissed to the assembly.

On his way in the bathroom, he accidentally runs into someone who's currently on their way out of there.

"Watch it, punk," The person grumbles, blowing smoke into Frank's face. He knows that voice, but he's not in the mood to pick a fight with one of Gerard's exes, Bert McCracken. He continues his way into the bathroom, and it looks no better than it did for the past three years. Graffiti still litters the walls, but it fits the schools aesthetic, so no one has bothered cleaning it up. Either that, or the school is just too poor to buy paint to cover up everything.

Frank and Gerard once added to the mess. What they wrote has since been covered up, but he remembers what was originally there. Sophomore year, they drew a heart with bright neon green sharpies with their initials in the center of it. It looked a little cheesy, but it was fun to draw on, and it’s a good memory that he shares with his best friend.

He goes over and runs his fingers along the wall where their heart had been, and he takes out his phone.

_(10:28am)+come to the bathroom by mr buslaras class when ur done with art_

_(10:28am)-omw_

Only a minute later, Gerard enters the bathroom. He walks up to Frank and pulls him into his arms without saying anything, and he hugs him for a moment.

"Hey, how are you?" Gerard asks, letting go of him. Frank shrugs, and he watches Gerard shrink down a little to be able to see Frank under his hood. Frank already knows that Gerard saw his lip, so he crosses his arms over his chest and looks at the wall, trying to hide from his questions he knows he'll ask.

"What happened here?" He asks softly, reaching for the back of Frank's hood and pulling it down. Frank doesn't stop him, and when Gerard lifts his chin up, Frank doesn't look him in the eye.

"I was just dumb. Fell off my bed and landed on something, part of the reason I'm late," Frank says. Gerard touches Frank's lip with the pad of his thumb. Gerard sighs and shakes his head slightly, retracting his hand and dropping it to Frank's shoulder.

"This ain't from falling, Frankie," He says quietly, "I've been punched in the face enough times to know what this is." That hurts Frank that Gerard can tell what happened, and it motivates Frank to lie more.

"It's not anything, I didn't get punched. I fell out of my bed. It's not that deep," Frank insists, grabbing Gerard's wrist and moving it away from his shoulder, and he puts his hood back up and starts messing with the straps on his backpack. He really doesn't like confrontation.

The sound of the bell pulls them out of the moment, and Frank is grateful.

"This conversation isn't over. I'm bringing you home after school," Gerard says and then turns and walks with Frank out of the bathroom and to the gym so they can hear the "welcome back, we missed you" speech for the forth time, and thankfully, the last time.

All the seniors here are fed up with high school, and leaving this place for good is going to feel so much better than a speech from a person who wishes they didn't work here.

So they walk down to the gym together, side by side, to hear the boring spiel for the final time.


	4. Chapter 4

Frank meets Gerard at his car at the end of the school day, his brother already with him. Gerard unlocks the doors and they all get in, Mikey sits up front with his brother and Frank sits in the back. Last year, it used to be just Frank and Gerard, and Mikey would ride the bus because the middle school was further away, and Gerard didn't feel like picking him up. Now though, because Mikey goes to school with them, he gets a ride, so he sits in the front.

Frank doesn't question Gerard when he drives past Frank's road, he knows that Gerard is taking him to his house even though he didn't ask first. Frank would have said something about this if it had been a regular day, but he doesn't really want to see his mom after what she did this morning so he stays quiet and just enjoys the ride.

Mikey turns on the radio after a few minutes of no one talking. He goes with the oldies station, and "Hotel California" starts playing through the speakers. Mikey's always been weird with music, old people stuff—especially British old people stuff—is just his thing, but they all deal with it.

They get to their house before the song even ends, which isn't surprising because they live closer to the school, and the song is a little long, so that's another factor.

"Mikey, take these to dad please," Gerard says. He hands his brother their personal information forms that need to be updated every year. Mikey takes the papers from him and he goes inside, leaving just Frank and Gerard in the car.

"You wanna stay here or go out?" Gerard asks, looking into the back seat where Frank is.

"Here is fine," Frank says.

"You sure? We could go out to the bridge again if you'd like?" Gerard suggests. Frank shrugs. He really just wants rest.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Maybe later," Frank says, so they both grab their bags and get out of Gerard's car and they head inside. They stop in the kitchen first and Gerard gives Frank a chocolate bar knowing he's probably hungry, and then they go to his bedroom. Gerard's room is messy, but not so bad that there's no space on the floor. It's more like organized clutter, with band posters on the walls and guitars and a keyboard on the floor, along with music sheets. He knows where everything is, and if he were to put his stuff away, everything would get lost, and he’d have to trash his room again to find just one thing.

One of the guitars he keeps belongs to Frank, but he has it stay here because it's just more convenient. Frank’s got instruments everywhere. Frank sits on Gerard's bed and starts snacking on the chocolate, while Gerard goes over to his guitar and sits on the ground and starts playing it. He plays "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day. He sings it beautifully, and Frank listens intently to every word.

When Gerard finishes the song, he gets up and sits by Frank, who is still watching him intently, enjoying the chocolate that he gave him. He looks at Frank's swollen lip for a moment, and then gets up and leaves the room. He's back a minute later with an ice pack.

"You don't have to do that," Frank says, protesting the help that his best friend is trying to offer. He rolls his eyes and touches the side of his head to hold Frank in place, and then he gently presses the ice to his lip.

"Shut up and let me take care of you," Gerard mutters, holding the ice there until a minute later when Frank lifts his hand up to cover Gerard's to hold the ice there himself.

"Was it your mom?" Gerard asks quietly, not sure if he's allowed to go that far yet. Frank doesn't say anything, but the silence speaks for itself. Frank considers responding, but he can't think of any good lie before his friends speaks up. Gerard knows. His silence speaks for him.

"Why?" Gerard asks. Frank sighs and takes the ice away from his mouth, his arm growing tired. Gerard takes the ice pack and touches it back to Frank's lip, holding it there for him.

"Doesn't matter. I deserved it anyway," Frank confesses.

"I didn't ask that, I asked why it happened," Gerard prompts. Frank shrugs before responding.

"I don't know. I slept in. She was mad. I told you, Gee, it's my own fault that it even happened. Stop worrying about it, okay? I'm fine. It was just a one time thing, I swear," Frank insists. Gerard looks at him skeptically, not really believing him, but he doesn't push any further.

"Spend the night? Dads cooking pasta for dinner," Gerard suggests, deciding to change the subject to make Frank more comfortable. Frank reaches for the ice again, holding it there and replacing Gerard's touch.

"I don't know if I can. Besides, I don't have a change of clothes. I can't just wear the same thing to school tomorrow," Frank says, trying to convince Gerard that he can't even though he does want to. Gerard smiles and shakes his head.

"Frank, I'll let you wear my shit. I've got stuff that will fit you," Gerard assures, "Ask you asshole mom if you can stay."

"Fine, I'll ask," Frank says after a moment, giving up on trying to talk Gerard out of it. He tries to hide the corners of his mouth twitching up upon hearing the insult directed to his mother. He picks up his phone and dials his mothers number, silently sending a prayer up that she won't say anything that will confirm to Gerard about the stuff he has to deal with at home. After a couple rings, his mother answers the call.

"What the hell do you want?" She asks, sounding very annoyed, like Frank interrupted something. Frank tries not to wince at her tone. He's got anxiety just thinking she might say one wrong thing and fuck everything up that Frank has tried to hide from his friend.

"Can I stay with Gerard tonight?" Frank hesitantly asks her. He can almost picture her in his mind rolling her eyes at him like that was the dumbest thing he's ever asked.

"I don't care," She says simply, and she hangs up before he can say anything else. Frank looks to Gerard and shrugs.

"You wanna share the bed or do you want the couch?" Gerard asks.

"We've been sharing forever. Did the fact that I’m almost an adult change something?” Frank asks sarcastically, but his question remains genuine. Gerard shrugs.

"It's just been a while since you've stayed over. I don't know your comfort level like I used to," He says, "I just want you to be comfortable, your age has never bothered me. You’ve been a year and a half younger than me the entire time I’ve known you anyway," He replies. Frank rolls his eyes and smiles at him. He then gets up and goes over to his guitar and motions for Gerard to join him, and they start to play music until dinner, and then after dinner, they go back to Gerard's bedroom.

It's starting to get late, so they begin to get ready for bed. After changing into a pair of one of Gerard's one million basketball shorts that he owns and a t-shirt, frank lays down on the left side of the bed, which is the side closest to the wall.

Gerard stays up later to continue writing music and playing old songs, and Frank ends up falling asleep listening to Gerard softly sing the words to "love of my life" by Queen.

Frank doesn't know what time Gerard decided to join him in sleep, but he remembers waking up for a second to the feeling of his best friends lips lightly touching his temple, and he remembers hearing the words "It's gonna be okay" whispered in his ear. After that, he drifted off, and in the morning, he's going to wonder if that sweet moment really happened, or if it was just a dream he wishes could turn into reality.


	5. Chapter 5

School has been back a few weeks, and it's almost time for homecoming. Frank hasn't been allowed to see Gerard since the last time he stayed over at his house, because while he wasn't home, his mother had realized the messes she makes won't clean themselves. She needs someone to pick up her shit for her, even though she's more than capable, and of course, the person she delegates to pick up her shit is none other than her only son, Frank Iero.

Frank has been noticing his best friend has been acting weird ever since the last time they hung out. Nothing really happened that night, but in the morning, well, Frank woke up to Gerard's alarm, but that wasn't the odd thing.

The odd thing was that Gerard unconsciously curled himself around Frank in his sleep and held him close. They didn't talk about it, but Gerard was really flustered when he had realized what he had done, thinking that Frank thought he was disgusted. Gerard tried to play it off as his sleeping mind likes to hug pillow, and he probably thought that Frank was a pillow. It wasn't brought up again since it happened, and they just left it at that, pretending things were normal. Which they are. They're still best friends, and one awkward thing isn't enough to tear them apart.

Gerard has been begging Frank to go to the homecoming game and the dance, which is on the following night, and Frank hasn't been able to give him a straight up answer. Frank told him that he'll know the week before, but really, it all depends on how his mother's mood is the night of it. Frank does want to go, and he's really hoping his mom will let him, but he's worried she won't because she hasn't let him hang out with Gerard in almost a month.

Right now, he's sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework, waiting for his mom to come home from the store so he can put the stuff away, because lord knows she'll try and force the poor uber guy to help her. He's about to start his chemistry homework when he sees his phone light up. It's a call from Mikey. Frank is a little confused upon seeing his name on the caller ID, because Mikey never calls him. He typically only ever texts, and even then, that's only when Gerard needs something, or he's asking something regarding the band. Frank answers the call anyway on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" Frank says. Mikey sounds like he's panicking on the other line.

"Something's wrong with Gerard. He locked himself in the bathroom freaking out and he's not letting me in and the last thing he said to me was to not call the cops," Mikey's rushed voice says.

"What's wrong with him?" Frank asks, his heart starting to race. Gerard used to have frequent panic attacks, but it's been a long time since he's had one so bad that Mikey's called.

"I don't know. He was acting weird ever since we got in the car to go home earlier. He kept saying something about this guy named Bert and he was saying your name, too. I don't know, Frank, I'm really worried he's going to hurt himself again," Mikey says, referring to the times years ago when Gerard was in middle school feeling alone, even though he had a boyfriend who promised that he loved him. That boyfriend was Bert, and maybe he did love Gerard, but his words hurt Gerard more than his love could ever heal.

"Okay, I'm gonna come over. I'll be there in maybe fifteen minutes. Tell him to unlock the door for me, but don't go in, let him know you're not going to go in. Is your dad home?" Frank rushes, giving Mikey orders.

"He's not home. He won't be for a while, he's at work," Mikey replies.

"Alright. I'm gonna be there soon. If anything bad happens, don't call me, call an ambulance, you hear me?" Frank asks, though it hurts him to even suggest that. Gerard was doing better, he can't think of any reason that Gerard would be harming himself. Unless, of course, he's just like Frank, and lies.

"I do. Please hurry," Mikey anxiously replies.

"I will. I’ll be there soon. Bye, Mikey," Frank says, hanging up the phone. He glances at the clock that he put above the kitchen sink. It's eight o'clock, his mom isn't supposed to get home for another half an hour, she told him she'll be back at eight thirty. He's got time. He walks over to the junk drawer in the kitchen and pulls out a pad of stationary and a pen, and he scribbles on a note to her.

_i had to leave. i'll be back soon._

_-frank_

He then goes to his bedroom and stuffs a shirt and pants and socks into his backpack and throws it over his shoulders, just in case he needs it for tomorrow if he ends up staying the night. Then he goes into the garage to get his bike that he rarely uses, and he hops on and begins pedaling to Gerard's house.

Times like this, he really wishes he had his drivers license so he could get where he needs to be, but faster. Frank doesn't think he intends on returning home tonight. Even though he knows how much shit he's going to get into with his mom, ultimately, his friend is more important than avoiding any punches his mom wants to throw at him. She hit him enough yesterday in the kitchen near the window, she can wait until tomorrow to do it again.

He takes less than ten minutes to arrive at Gerard’s house, and he doesn't even have to bother with knocking on the door, as Mikey is already there waiting for him and he lets Frank in. Frank's legs are sore as he enters the house, but he ignores the feeling just as he ignores the soreness on his shoulders, the ache being there, courtesy of his mom, and he focuses on the task at hand.

"Any updates?" Frank asks as Mikey follows Frank down the hallway to Gerard's room to set down his bag.

"No. I can still hear him in there crying, though," Mikey says. Frank puts his bag down, and he walks out of his bedroom, and Frank follows Mikey upstairs to the bathroom Mikey usually uses.

"I don't know if he unlocked the door," Mikey tells him when they're in front of it. Frank nods, and watches Mikey knock on the door.

"Gerard? Frank's here. He wants to talk to you. I'll be downstairs if you need me," His brother says to him. Mikey’s met with silence, but it doesn't seem to surprise him. Mikey walks past Frank then, leaving the two boys upstairs as he descends back down to the main level.

"Gerard, I'm here. I'm gonna come in, okay?" Frank's warns softly. He gives Gerard a moment to answer, but alas, he doesn't reply, so Frank tries the door handle, and it turns, showing that he did unlock the door for Frank. Slowly, he opens it, and he walks in, shutting the door behind him. Gerard is sitting on the ground in basketball shorts without a shirt on. His hands are balled into fists, and his legs are curled to his chest, and he's hiding his face in his knees.

Frank walks all the way in and sits down on the floor around two feet away from Gerard, watching him, but not touching him. Frank looks at the stuff around the two of them. His shirt is draped over the tub, there's a few empty beer cans on the floor, and there's a half empty pack of cigarettes lying next to them too, along with a couple cigarette butts on the ground, telling that he was smoking in here as if the smell didn’t already tell him that. There's one more thing on the ground, though, and that's what concerns Frank the most. He looks at Gerard, crying into his knees, trying to figure out where he's hiding the missing piece of the pencil sharpener that's on the floor.

He doesn't reach out and hold his friend, he just sits in silence next to him, waiting for Gerard to come to him. Gerard won't hurt himself with Frank right in front of him, he knows that for sure. Frank searches the bathroom with his eyes, still trying to find what Gerard has hidden. He looks at him again, unable to find it, until a few seconds later, Gerard lowers one of his fists and Frank hears the tiny piece of metal clink on the floor. He doesn't reach over and take it until Gerard wraps his arms back around his legs, and when he takes it, he wraps it in toilet paper and then sets it in the wastebasket beside the sink.

It feels like hours until Gerard is no longer a mess of sweat and tears, and he's sitting back against the wall with his head lifted, and he stares at the wall opposite to him with red rimmed eyes. Frank is parallel to him, staring at the wall in front of both of them, waiting for Gerard to do something, or nothing at all.

"I ran into him yesterday. He told me stuff I didn't want to hear. I think I know it's true but I don't how how to fix it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was after lunch when you and I don't have any classes together. I don't know why I'm here or why I'm freaking out. Hurting myself like the time I tried to off myself in eighth grade won't save you," Gerard says quietly. Frank's confused at the last thing he said. He doesn't get what he has to do with any of this, and he waits for Gerard to continue to clarify his words, but he doesn't, so Frank asks him a question.

"What led you here?"

"What kinda question is that? I just told you I don't know" Gerard replies, sounding unbelievably tired.

"I mean what led you here? Was it what Bert said, or was it your fear of not knowing what's going on lead to that?" Frank asks, pointing to the wastebasket. Gerard sighs.

"Don't pull your therapist shit on me or I'll beat your ass. The second one," Gerard cockily says. He looks over at Frank, making eye contact for the first time since they started talking. "I'm sorry Mikey made you come over."

"Mikey didn't make me do shit. I decided to come here, because I was worried." Frank admits to Gerard.

"What about your mom?" He asks. Frank shrugs.

"I don't know what she's gonna do. I don't care if she gets upset at me. You're more important to me than trying to please some lady that I don't give a shit about," Frank answers. He takes his phone out and checks the time. It's close to ten, and there's something wrong that's lurking in his friends mind that's obviously upsetting him, but Gerard doesn't seem in the mood to talk about it, but Frank has one more question.

"Is your belly okay?" He cautiously drawls. He asks this because Gerard's shirt is off and his knees are still tucked to his chest, so Frank has no idea if he was able to use that blade he tore from the sharpener before Frank arrived.

"I didn't," He assures softly, untucking his legs to reveal his torso to Frank, just in case Frank didn't believe him. Gerard didn't lie, his torso remains bare, other than the bunch of pale white scars that will take years to fade, if they ever do.

"Why don't we go to sleep then, and talk about everything tomorrow? It's Friday, we don't gotta worry about school. Just rest and talk in the morning. Does that sound okay?" Frank suggests. Gerard takes a moment before nodding, and Frank breathes in relief.

"Alright. Come here," Frank says, holding his arms out to Gerard, and he sinks into his embrace, breathing in and out in the safety of his friends grasp. Their hug doesn't last too long, though, so they begin cleaning up the bathroom. Gerard doesn't bother putting his shirt back on, what’s on his skin is nothing no one hasn't already seen anyway.

They both walk back downstairs and find Mikey sitting in the living room, probably waiting for them. He gets up off that couch and walks over to his brother. He gently touches Gerard's face and wipes a little grime off.

"You look like shit. Are you better now?" Mikey genuinely asks. Gerard nods, and Mikey moves to give Gerard a quick hug and then he pulls away.

"I'm in my room if you need anything," He says, and then makes his way upstairs to his room, so Frank and Gerard make their way to Gerard's room.

There's not much left to do, so they turn out the light and lay down. Neither of them talk for the rest of the night, and even through Frank's tired as hell, he waits for Gerard to fall asleep before joining him.


	6. Chapter 6

"Answer your fucking phone," Gerard groans, lightly kicking Frank in the side to wake him up. Frank opens his eyes slowly, and it's bright outside. His phone is ringing, and he sees Gerard throw a pillow over his face.

"Turn the fucking thing off if you're not gonna answer it, asshole," Gerard grumbles. The caller ID shows that it's his mom calling. He's instantly filled with panic upon realizing that he never had permission to stay over at Gerard's house, and he practically jumps out of bed when he realizes it's her. He quickly answers it, even though he really doesn't want to.

"Hello?" He says, bracing himself for what she's about to throw at him, knowing there will be something.

"Frank, where the hell are you?!" His mother shouts. Frank flinches at her tone, forgetting to mask his fear so Gerard can't see.

"At a friends place. They needed me last night, I left you a note, it was on the counter, I'm promise it's there," Frank quickly answers.

"You didn't fucking ask. I saw your goddamn note. Get your ass home right now, and you better tell your girlfriend you love her because you're not going to be seeing her in a long time!" His mom fumes. She sounds beyond pissed. Frank looks at Gerard, who is now fully awake and staring at him, his demeanor of being tired a few seconds ago to now alert and concerned.

"I'll be there soon," Frank says quietly, and he hangs up. He drops his phone down on the bed in front of him, and just as his phone falls, Frank also falls back against Gerard's bed.

"You're leaving," Gerard says, sitting up and looking down at him. It's not a question. Even though he didn't hear the conversation, he can tell Frank has to leave and he can't go against his mom and stay.

"I have to," Frank replies, starting to stand up and get his things together so he can put them into his bag.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asks when Frank zips up his backpack. Frank shrugs, looking more and more visibly upset as the seconds pass.

"Come here," Gerard coaxes softly, lifting the blanket up next to him. Frank turns his head and sees Gerard with his legs parted, motioning for Frank to sit between them, so he gets up to sit by him, and Gerard wraps the blanket around Frank and hugs him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Frank finds himself leaning into his touch, his back against Gerard's chest, and it makes him not want to leave even more. He swears sometimes that Gerard's the only one who really cares about him. Frank turns his head and presses his cheek against Gerard's bare shoulder, and he feels Gerard's hand come up and rub the back of his neck. Frank turns and wraps his arms around Gerard's torso.

"I don't want to go," Frank whispers, fearing what his mom is going to do to him when he gets home, and he wishes so bad to just be able to tell Gerard what goes on at his house so that just maybe, Gerard could stop him from going home.

"I know," Gerard whispers back, holding him tighter. Frank closes his eyes and holds on a few seconds longer and then he lets go. He gets his shoes on and then stands up and starts walking out of Gerard's bedroom, and Gerard follows closely behind. They get to the front door, and just as Frank is about to turn the handle to open it, Frank turns around and Gerard steps closer to him and cups his face in the palms of his hands. He gazes into Frank's tired eyes, and then leans down and presses a kiss onto Frank's forehead, lingering there longer than he probably should, and then messes up Frank's hair.

"Stay safe, call me when you can," Gerard whispers.

"I will."

Frank looks at Gerard one last time before going outside and heading back home on his bike.

On the way home, Frank tries not to think about his mother. Instead, he thinks about his best friend, and he thinks of how kind Gerard is to him. Even though Frank is upset that he couldn't stay longer to talk with Gerard about the previous night, he's thankful Gerard is so understanding, even though he hasn't told him a thing about what his mother does.

He's still caught up on what Gerard had said the night before.

_"Hurting myself like the time I tried to off myself in eighth grade won't save you."_

Frank ponders for a moment if he knows what his mom does, but he really doubts it. He's got very little evidence to build his case, and chances are, because he ran into Bert, this has nothing to do with Frank, and more so his relationship with Bert.

As Frank gets closer and closer to home, his heart starts picking up it's pace, and he's starting to think he's going to have a panic attack before he even gets home. He tells himself he's just overreacting, that everything is going to be okay, and that he has anxiety, and this is just part of it, and he really has nothing to worry about.

His thoughts right now are a big run on sentence with no proper grammar and plenty of punctuation errors. His English teacher would be proud.

He stops about a block away from his house and checks his phone. One new message from Gerard.

_(7:56pm)-hey frankie. u left ur fone charger here. im gonna bring it 2 u on monday ok? see u soon. dont watch 2 much porn n kill ur battery XD_

Frank rolls his eyes at his best friends message. He feels lost. He doesn't want his phone to die, because when it does, he's going to be completely isolated from everyone. Even if it's only for a few days, he can't stand being alone for so long. He hates it, and with a sigh, he turns off his phone and puts it back in his pocket, trying to preserve the battery. He starts to finish the bike ride home, not nearly ready to be lonely for a day or two.

He's as quiet as he can be when he enters the house. He doesn't want to let his mom know he's back home. Everything is going well, until he enters his bedroom. That's when he sees her sitting on his bed, glaring at him. Frank tries to ignore her and put his stuff away, but when she stands up behind him when he's in front of his closet, it's too hard to continue trying to ignore her presence.

"Please leave me alone," Frank says quietly, trying his best not to trigger her anger and piss her off enough to start hitting him.

"Why'd you sneak out to go fuck some girl? You should have asked to leave. Sneaking out is bad, Frank," His mom says to him. She's so close, he can feel her hot breath on his neck, and it causes the hairs on there to stand up.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I promise it won't happen again," Frank assures as he slowly turns around, trying to calm her a little.

"No," She says sharply, and then quickly shoving him into the wall. He hits his head on the door of his closet, and it causes him to stumble and fall to the floor. He looks up at his mother, dazed, and with stars clouding his vision. He makes no move to stand back up.

"Please go," Frank whispers with tears in his eyes. He watches his mother swing her leg back, and the toe of her boot makes contact with his side, and Frank looses his breath. She kicks him again in the same spot, and then she leans down and grabs the collar of his shirt.

"You should know better than to go running off without telling me first! Do you not understand how worried I've been?!" His mother shouts. She swings her hand back and punches him in the nose, and almost immediately following the blow, blood starts trickling its way down Franks face and over his chin, until finally beginning to drop on the floor.

Frank doesn't even try to shield his face from the following punches. His mom still holds the collar of his shirt, and she pulls him up and shoves him back against the wall. Frank doesn't fight back. He would never, ever, hit a woman, no matter how much he hates her or how much he wants to, because it's just wrong to him. It's wrong to him in the same way he believes hitting a child is wrong, no matter their age.

"You are not my son! I didn't raise you to treat me like shit!" She yells at him, pushing him against the wall again, and again, he hits his head. She then drops him to the ground, and when he curls up into a ball, she kicks him in the back. Frank groans, and soon enough, that groan turns into tears, and he's crying on the floor, silently begging some deity to make his mom go away and stop watching him suffer.

"Frank, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just get so upset with you sometimes," His mother says softly, changing her voice and acting as if she hadn't beaten this shit out of him just moments ago. Frank flinches when she lays a hand on his arm, and he jerks away when she tries to clean up the blood on his skin.

"Go away," Frank cries. He hears his mother sigh, but thankfully, she stands up and leaves, and Frank is now alone in his room, sobbing into the carpet.

He tries to think of Gerard, maybe doing that will take the pain away, but it's useless. Thinking of him makes everything worse, because all he has with Gerard are good memories, and sometimes the good makes it so much more painful, and the longing to just _be with him_ is unbearable right now. He wants to get up and go back to Gerard's house, but he doesn't want to risk pissing off his mom again.

So, instead of trying to clean up himself and wash the blood off the carpet, Frank continues to just lie there, wishing for sleep to take him away from this hell called _home_.

It doesn't take long for his wishes to be granted, and soon enough, it's dark again.


	7. Chapter 7

The majority of Frank's Sunday is spend lying in bed because he was in too much pain to get up. He did get up once to use the bathroom and refill his water bottle, but other than that, he hasn't done much of anything. He played games on his phone until it died, and after that he took a nap. When it got later in the day, Frank spent the little amount of daylight left reading his comics, and after it got dark outside, he set his book down and closed his eyes to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Monday was pretty much the same routine, minus the phone, because Gerard still has his charger. His mother left early in the morning and hasn't been back since, and only God knows where the hell she went. As it's getting later in the day, Frank realizes that homecoming is on Friday, which happens to be October thirty-first, which also happens to be his birthday.

He looks up at his ceiling and rolls his eyes, thinking now he's not only going to miss homecoming, he's also going to miss his eighteenth birthday, unless by some miracle, his body decides to heal itself enough to be able to go to school in just a few days. He doesn't want to miss his birthday, because he was going to try and convince his mom to let him stay with Gerard on that day. He knows that when hes eighteen, he is _technically_ free from his mom, but out of respect, he's not going to leave her just yet because she can hardly even take care of herself. If it weren't for Frank needing to have actual food, she probably would have drank herself to the grave by now, because alcohol is her favorite meal. As harsh as she is to him, Frank doesn't have it in him to abandon her, because the only thing that will end up doing is killing her.

Frank has never really missed school, but more so the outlet he had there, and right now, he's missing that part of it a lot. He had his music teacher, Mr. Bulsara, his best friend, Gerard, and a couple other people he didn't mind talking to, like Mikey, Vic, or Kellin. They're all good people, though Kellin is sometimes questionable, but honestly, Frank wouldn't care if the only person he was able to talk to ever again was Gerard.

Speaking of Gerard, he hasn't talked to him since he left his house, because like the not smart person he can be sometimes, he wasted his phone battery playing games instead of talking to the one person he trusts the most. He wishes he would have used the battery to call him for the rest of the night on the day it died.

Glancing out his window, Frank notices it's getting late. His mother still isn't home, but he doesn't really care. Feeling exhausted, Frank reaches for his blanket and pulls it up over his bruised body, and he snuggles up against his pillow, hoping that he'll feel better tomorrow. He closes his eyes, and soon after, he falls asleep.

Tuesday and Wednesday pass, and not much happens, except his mom finally is back home and she's got plenty of alcohol to last her a few weeks. His body still aches, but Frank can finally stand up and not feel like he's going to double over when he starts to walk around, so that's a start.

He and his mother haven't talked since she went ape-shit crazy on him, and he's beyond thankful for that. He doesn't want to talk to her on regular days, but especially now more than ever, he doesn't want to even see her.

Now it's Thursday night, and Frank is really wanting to go to school tomorrow. The bruises on his face have healed enough for them to only be noticeable if someone was to look real closely, but other than that, they're getting difficult to see. The bruises all over his back are still purple, but they're not as intense of a color as they were on Saturday or Monday.

After standing up and walking around his room, Frank decides he really misses Gerard and he's willing to go to school tomorrow, and he will go to the football game with him. It's not the best way to spend a birthday or Halloween, but it's something, and the last thing he wants to do is spend it alone.

His alarm clock wakes him up at six thirty in the morning on Friday, and Frank starts to get ready. He goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his unruly hair, which is starting to get really long, and then back to his bedroom to get dressed. He settles on his Iron Maiden hoodie, and some black pants along with his favorite pair of black converse. He decides he's going to walk to school today, because he figures he might as well get used to walking. He doesn't drive, the busses don't come out this far, and he can't have Gerard waste gas on him, so walking works.

He throws on a beanie and gets his backpack on, and goes to the kitchen for a snack, but he's not surprised to be met with an empty fridge. He sighs, growing annoyed knowing he's going to have to waste his money on school food today if he doesn't want to go hungry like he had been at home. He goes back to his room and grabs his wallet and slides it into his pocket, then he makes his way to the front door. Frank sees his mom, and he notices she's passed out on the couch. He doesn't care though, and he starts walking outside and to his school.

He ends up getting there around an hour early, and he goes to sit under a tree outside the front of the school, because the doors aren't open yet. He decides to pull his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and he lights it. He's only alone for a few minutes though, before Mr. Bulsara shows up at the school, and Frank sees he's walking over to him. He contemplates putting out his cigarette for a moment, but he decides against it because his teacher already saw him, and putting it out will just be a waste of money.

"Hey, Iero. Long time, no see. Where have you been?" His teacher implores when he's close to him. Frank looks up at him from where he's sitting.

"Home," Frank dumbly replies, blowing out smoke and then taking another drag. Mr. Bulsara gives him a look and then sits down next to him, despite the fact that the morning dew is going to get his pants wet.

"Those things will ruin your lungs," His teacher says. Frank rolls his eyes.

"Not like you don't do it," Frank replies. He sees Mr. Bulsara nod.

"You're right, I do, but you're young. There's still a chance for you to quit," He says. Frank shakes his head and rolls his eyes, blowing his smoke out.

"You're not that old. You could, too," Frank says, taking another drag. They're silent for a moment, until his teacher speaks again.

"I've missed you in class. You're very good with the guitar. The other guys kind of suck, but don't tell them I said that," He says. Frank chuckles, though he's not really amused.

"Your secret's safe with me," Frank replies sarcastically, just to humor him. Suddenly, Frank hears a phone ring, and he looks over to see his teacher looking at his phone.

"My husband's calling. I'll see you in third block?" He asks. Frank nods, confirming he'll attend class.

"See you then, Iero. You know where to find me if you need anything," He says, and then gets up and starts walking away. Frank can hear Mr. Bulsara talking on the phone for just a few seconds before he's too far away to hear anything. After he's far enough away for Frank to no longer care what he's doing, he turns his attention back to his cigarette, and he closes his eyes and takes a long drag, enjoying the sting of it.

Frank starts picking at the grass out of boredom when his lung cancer on a stick is finished, and he and watches his classmates slowly start showing up. His body perks up when he notices Mikey walking on the sidewalk. Mikey hasn't spotted him yet, but that doesn't matter, because that isn't who Frank was wanting to see. Frank stands up and starts walking towards the sidewalk, when suddenly, Gerard comes into view. He spots Frank after a moment and he smiles, and starts walking to him with open arms.

They meet in the center of the walkway, and they hug for a moment before pulling apart and walking side by side.

"Hey, are you doing okay?" Gerard asks after walking for a moment. Frank turns to look at him and adjusts his backpack.

"I am now," He replies, and Gerard smiles at him, and they continue walking. There's still a lot of time before school starts, so they walk to the cafeteria.

"Happy birthday, Frankie," Gerard whispers to Frank when they enter an empty hallway. Frank blushes at his words, and lightly nudges Gerard's shoulder.

"Thank you," He replies, and finally, they reach the cafeteria doors. Gerard opens one of them and lets Frank walk through, and he walks with him in the lunch line. Nearing the end where the lunch ladies take their money, Gerard takes out his wallet and hands a few bills to Frank.

"I have my own money," He says, trying to protest, but Gerard won't take it back.

"I know, but it's your birthday," Gerard says. Frank smiles with the corners of his mouth, and mumbles a thank you, and he hands the money to the nice lunch lady, and then they go to sit down at an empty table by the back.

Frank only gets a few bites into his breakfast sandwich before Gerard starts asking questions about why he's been absent for the last four days.

"Why were you gone so long?" He asks. Frank finishes chewing before he answers.

"I didn't feel good," He replies.

"Why? Did you catch a bug or something? Mikey felt a little sick a few days ago, it might be that," Gerard says, but Frank shakes his head.

"What was it then?" Gerard asks. Frank shakes his head again, trying to dismiss his friends questions.

"What the hell happened then? It's been a long time since I've seen you last, I just want to know if you're okay," Gerard says, growing frustrated that his friend wont give him a straight up answer.

"Do you have my phone charger?" Frank asks. Gerard doesn't answer him, but he pulls out his charger and hands it to Frank, and Frank puts it into his backpack.

"Why can't you just tell me what happened? I'm here for you," Gerard encourages.

"I told you. I wasn't feeling good," Frank says, getting annoyed at Gerard's questioning. He didn't lie to him, he really wasn't feeling well. Gerard looks at him like he doesn't believe a word coming out of his mouth.

"Talk to me about it later, then. Ray invited us all to his place after the game tonight. He wanted me to ask you to come over. I'll drive you there, and then back home in the morning," Gerard says. Frank thinks about asking his mom for a moment, but today, he is eighteen, so he figures he can.

"Yeah, I'll come," Frank says. He watches Gerard pull out his phone and texts who he assumes is Ray.

"I just told Ray. I packed extra clothes in my car for you just in case," Gerard says. Frank is about to speak again, but he's interrupted by the bell.

"We'll talk later. See you at lunch, okay?" Gerard says. Frank nods, and he watches his best friend walk away. Frank quickly finishes off what he was eating, and then he walks to class, barely making it there before the tardy bell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zzzz i didn’t really like this chapter. it ended sort of abruptly, and i wanted to add more, but the motivation has left my body. anyways, I’ll start posting regularly soon, but this week has been a little hectic, so I’ve been posting frequently and sporadically. a new chapter will be up on monday. thanks for reading :3  
> -Apollo

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I rewrote this story because I didn't like how I originally wrote it. Expect a chapter at least once a week, assuming I don't spontaneously die. This is also up on my wattpad, party-pxsion. That's all.  
> -Apollo


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